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Just a list of life's little moments - The Most Important People In My Life, Making Me Who I Am Today.
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~*~(S)ummer(t)ime(W)onder(l)and~*~
March 19 One Step CloserI just got back from a very nice french dinner with my bosses and some surgeons. The sea bass that i had was really really nice. Yummy! :)
I would just say that today was an amazing day for me. It has been a really long time since i last had the rage i felt in me today, the i'm-so-furious-until-i-wanna-cry feeling... This is pretty strange as i'm not someone who is used to being accused of cheating someone of anything. My friends will know the kinda person i am... Geez... for a whole hour, i stood there, being interrogated by someone who happens to know nuts about the daily runnings of a business and the implications of a legal contract. I do not and will not condone being questioned there like a bleddy fool for things that are not my fault. All i am responsible for is to ensure that the things that people want are being given, and that whatever i am told to convey, i do so. If there is any misunderstanding on your part, then its your own fault for not clarifying it at all. Do not come and put words in my mouth and still have the cheek to ask me to send you out on something. Dream on! Hmmf!
Okies, I feel so much better now that i've gotten that out of my system. I still havent got down to calling my friend and telling him that i wanna go and wakeboard over the weekend. Hahaha..... But well oh well... my weekends should be unoccupied all the way until the end of june i suppose... given bunny's schedule.... I just went to read my ex's blog, and it's so strange to hear that he wants to settle down. Not something that i will ever understand coming from him though. I do wonder what would have happen and transpired between us had i gone down to meet him.... February 01 That Horrible FeelingOnce again, i'm getting that horrible feeling... The feeling that there seems to be so much more than i seem to be doing with it...
Like i have said quite a few times before, i get annoyed with this feeling alot. The 'I'm so bored with my life and the people around me" feeling that seems to be bogging me down recently. All around me, i see contented people around me, contented with their jobs, contented with their partners, contented with their daily lives and basically just contented. Hmmm, perhaps i think i've got too much time on my hands, because the workload has been taken off me quite abit. With 2 other reps now, at least i dont have to get stressed and tear the hair out of my head. I suppose that really is a good thing, but then again, it really becomes very boring because now i think i have too much free time on my hands and there are only so many times you can visit your docs in a week. If its not in the OT, its in the clinic. I guess the horrible feeling that i'm getting has got to be restlessness. I love the feeling of being kept so busy with different people in my life that i no longer have time to myself. At this current point, i have too much time for myself, and i guess that's where the imbalance lies. Or perhaps its just the holiday season mood. Or perhaps its just that 9 days leave and staying in singapore the entire time is too much of a bore for me. Or perhaps i'm just so sick of staying home. Hmmm.
And at some point, like i have repeatedly said previously, the novelty wears off after awhile... Sighz... For everything... but i guess the one thing that will never wear off will be my curiosity and the passion for life. Hmmm, its time i found something new to keep my time occupied.... perhaps a volunteer association where i can actually get some constructive work done. December 29 Reaching a Breaking Point Soon.Christmas has come and gone, and sadly, i didnt really enjoy christmas this year. I miss the good ol' me who'd be busy buzzing around town like 2nd week of Dec looking at christmas pressise, thinking of what i should be buying for the girls. I miss the good ol' me who'd be writing christmas cards on the 19/20th Dec. I miss the good ol' me who'd be dolling herself up and going for like 4 christmas parties each year. And sad to say, i didnt do any of that this year at all. All i did was to hurriedly grab some christmas pressies last minute and give them to my friends before the dinner. How sincere of me. I didnt even wrap them up.
I look at the way things have gone and realised that i'm really tired of everything. Tired of ppl at work telling me that i'm doing things the wrong way when this is the way things have been done previously. I'm tired of having to live my life by the schedule of the surgeons (even tho i know that hey, even the surgeons themselves are trying to just make a living!!! hehehe!). I'm tired of having to leave the comforts of my bed in the middle of the night when everyone is happily snuggled up and tucked into bed. I used to have a very understanding leader who would look at things from the business point of view, and what would have been the best for developing the business. I'm pretty sure the motto "surgeons' preference" didnt come about for nothing, and i guess in a way it did work because somehow, we are pretty much the leaders in ASIA. I was given the freedom to do so much more simply because i was well-rested, and i was never forced to do anything against my will. But we now live in a different time. Everyone (or at least those who mattered) seems very demotivated now. Perhaps i lived too much in the past.... where everyone was committed to make this a winning team, where people would literally crawl back from sick leave just to fulfill the demands of the customers, where everyone was just doing their own and being responsible for their own things. Like what Bunny says, i cannot impose my values on others. And i guess Bunny is right in saying that what i can do, others may not want or do not agree with doing. But at the end of the day, all i'm going by is "everything matters" (very much edited coz its not convenient to say too much also). And no matter what, i must thank Bunny for showing me another point of view from and industry outsider today. It helped me to learn a little bit more, and i know that whatever you have said was for my own betterment, and i'm sure you too want me to learn something from this. And i appreciate that because only my true friends do not hesitate to say such honest things to my face. =)
Okies, i'm done verbal diahorring. Dinnertime and then Essay time! =)
November 30 Adelaide 2008It's been a rocky road in the past one month. Or should i say the most boring month. I've never had so much free time due to the economy downslide. Hahaha... So i basically just sat in the office doing nothing as there wasnt much paperwork or cases. Which is bad coz i felt redundant in the office. So we decided to take a family trip down to Aussieland and visit Adelaide. So now i can say i've visited almost all of the major cities: Queensland, Brisbane, Sydney, Perth and Adelaide. And i always have very nice memories of Aussieland. =)
This time around was really sentimental, coz i went on the trip with the old matriach. I just felt that it kinda came a round circle as the first time i went to Aussieland was also with her. She took me on my very first trip and took care of me the very first time i took a plane... Grams was so worried that i'd be uncomfortable with the blocked ears that she packed a whole bag of sweets for me! So cute right???!!! Sighz... I love my granny! She's old, and there may not be another chance to actually go on a trip with her, and though i may not show it, these are times that i treasure ALOT! =)
I must say that this Aussie trip was very enjoyable as we just did our own things and didnt get rushed around by a tourguide. My favourite was our first day when we went to the choc factory! I had never seen sooooooooooooooooooo much choccies in my life at one time! It was soooooooo yummy just feasting on the chocs! Hehehe! I love the haighs berry chocs! So much so that i brought back like 4 bags of them to give to my friends! Hehehe! And the Barrossa was absolutely fantastic! Some of the nicest wines i've tasted! =) Me and my sis brought back like 3 bottles of wines and Mum actually allowed it! Wahahahaha!
And i have to thank Nic for taking me around Adelaide and bringing me to eat DECENT FOOD! The japy was good! Hehehehe! I love the sushi! And so was the kangeroo meat! Nic, if you ever read this, please help me tell Glen that he's a really good cook! It was nice meeting all your friends from the flight school and i must apologise for being kinda quiet with your mates coz i didnt know much about flying so i thought i would just listen and learn more first... Hehehe.... I hope to catch up with him again soon coz he's also another crazy nut! Hahaha! And for some reason, all of his friends thought i was his girlfriend. Hahaha! Even my own cousin was surprised to see me call using Nic's number...
I missssssssssssss my girlfriends! I havent seen them in like 2 long weeks! I cant believe i missed Don and shuyun's regatta! Hahaha, i have this image of shuyun asking me if i was sure im upset about missing them in action or was i upset coz i missed looking at the hunky guys there.... Hahaha! Sighz... Sometimes i really think i'm a ultra lousy friend.... =((( I wish i had a more stable schedule and work time, so that i can spend more time with the people who are important to me and on the things i miss doing. It's like never enugh time to sleep, shop, work, catch up with friends, spend time with family, go to the gym, having fun with the rabbit.... and its like different group of friends.... the collegues, the outside friends, the NUS friends, YW and group, my girlfriends.... So many! Aiyoh... Hehehe... Oh yah, did i mention that Mike's coming back? Seesh.... It's just so weird and unfamiliar at times, but also familiar at the same time... How contradictory... Apparently he's coming back for CNY and stopping in SG for like 3 days... Sighz.... All i can say is that he's a very memorable part of me that lives in the past... I'd say that i'm very happy at this present time with everything. It's been a nice ride since i came back from the US. Hehehe! =) So many new friends! And they're all nice nice people! Or i just choose to see the nice side of them! =)
And i cant get enough of Jay Chou's music.... His songs are sooooooooo nice!!!!! I'm addicted to his capricorn and cow boy album... Hehehe... And i watched initial D on the plane like 5 times in total both ways. So much so that Bunny is telling me to go and hold the tv and pretend that i'm holding Jay chou's hand. Hahaha! Bunny's so goofy, funny and knows how to tickle my funny bone so much so that i'm always rolling around laughing till i get stitches...
October 27 Getting Old!You know, i really have no idea why i chose this as the title for this entry! But well, who cares... it's just a title right?
It felt sooooo good to be out with the girls last night. Made me realise how much i've actually missed them. So many things have changed, considering that the last time i saw them was like 2 wks ago only!!! Donnie, i'm soooooooo gonna be praying for you that you'll be able to move back here to the east side. I never liked living in the western part of this country. It's kinda inaccessible and sth... which i dunno wat.... I still love the east side that i'm living in, perhaps coz i've lived in the east all my entire life. Sighz. =) And my dearest Qian, i really feel very bad for everything you're going through now... Just let me know if there's anything you need help with yea?? It's just so strange how fast everything has changed, and perhaps it just shows me what a lousy friend i've been... Maybe if i had taken more time off work to actually catch up with the people i love and care about.... We all need friends to survive in this uber cruel dog-eat-dog world, where you never know who's sincere.
Yeah, so now, the closer ones know who bunny is already. Hahahaha... Well, really, only a selected few will know, and that's how i like to keep it. I guess when i'm older and look on hindsight, i'll prolly think i'm very silly, just as YW has very kindly highlighted to me, but it's definitely something that i do not regret doing. Like i always said, it's better to have had it, than to never have known it at all. I can safely say that the most important thing that bunny has taught me was to never settle for second best when it comes to choosing my other half... I really admire the way bunny has hope that the right one for him will eventually come along... Perhaps i never really had that kinda faith in relationships to begin with.
Oh well. =)
Anyways, here's a list of places i wanna go visit in 2009. Hopefully.
1. Vienna (Bunny, i hope i can bring you along for this, provided there is still a u & me...)
2. Africa (I think Grace fr work... and me are sooooooooo gonna have a balla of a time!)
3. Japan (To see the cherry blossoms)
4. Aussieland (Nic, you promised you'll come see me! Muahahahahahaha!)
5. USA (catching with Mr Joe is always a welcomed affair!)
October 01 Test Driving CarsWell, lets just say that my energizer bunny recently got me interested in cars. ALOT. Guess his love for the automobile industry has spread over to me. WE went to test drive the Nissan Murano the other day... Seriously, that car is uber shiok! OMG! Its a really huge car that really gives you a really nice road presence. Feels super good to be so tiny and driving that humongous monster of a car!!! But Bunny doesnt like that kinda cars, Bunny prefers the "sports, executive" type of car. And i'm always telling bunny: nope, you just look sporty... but the executive part abit.... erm... Hahahaha!!!
And yes, Bunny and me went to watch the F1 race!!!!!! OMG! The sounds of the race cars passing by!!!! SOOOOOOOOO shiok! The sheer rush of the adrenaline is damn shiok! OMG! Hahaha! I think i'd like to go and see the sepang race in KL next year... And stupid Bunny keeps telling me that i should bring the bunny along... Hahahah!
Oh well, that's just bunny... But i think bunny will look very very nice in those huge racing bikes with the uber cool helmet... I just have to make sure that Bunny doesnt take off the helmet lar... Hahahaha.... Planning for my Adelaide trip now... It's sooooo boring now that we're not going on a tour, because the whole purpose of the tour was to keep my mum and sis occupied while i go up on a flight with Mr Pilot... Hahahaha... Well, Mr Pilot offered to take me up on a flight anyways... And my mum keeps bugging me to go plan the trip!!! Argh!
Time to continue to with the Adelaide Research.
September 08 Little Updates about Nothing in GeneralFor the longest time, once again i havent had the verbal diahorrea urge.
There are some things in life that i can never understand. Or more like i can never figure out what people are thinking. I sometimes do not even know what in the world i want. So i guess today's entry will be about the things people do, and how i can never figure out why people do the things they do.
1. How can people share their views and dreams with that special someone, and then turn around and say that they do not know if this one person is the one they are waiting for.
2. Why drivers in SG like to change lanes on the roads without signalling
3. Why are people prone to change
4. Why do people like to boss others around? What is it about power and the feeling of being in total control so appealing to some at work that they completely forget themselves and those around them who helped them to succeed?
5. How come there is never enough time to let me laze around and still get things done.
Okies. I think i had enough of the whys and hows of the general daily operations in this process we call life. I guess i will never be able to understand the way people do things because i tend to see things being done my way. And i wonder if that is a bad thing...
I just wanna have a very normal relationship with a guy that i can totally be in love with. My guy's not that difficult to find what. All he has to be capable of doing is to make me laugh a sincere laugh from the bottom of my heart. Oh yah, he must also look presentable lah... if not i sure cheat on him... hahahaha. Well, oh well.... More ramblings the next time.
Oh yah, i made a new friend... He's Mr Naggy... And he has a head of hair that looks like a ball... =)
September 02 Life's Little SurprisesIt's really funny how i had so much fun wake boarding on saturday even though i went on the cable ski only like 2 rounds... And i totally suck at it i must say.
Got to know this chiropractor person through grace and i'm still sooooooooo very fascinated with him... How can someone achieve so much within such a short period of time? Geez. More next time. Gotta go sleep as i've gotta wake up really early tmr morning!
August 06 Romance-lessI was just reading my collegue's blog and felt really sad for her. I wish i could chip in and help her buy diapers and milk powder... I think she's really courageous to be undertaking this huge task of raising her son alone after he has left her. Wat a horrible person.
And yep, back to the title. I'm kinda in the yo-yoing mood recently. On the one hand, i feel that i need alot of new people in my life right now, but then again, when i really look around me, i wonder how i can actually ever believe in relationships ever again. All the relationships of the people around me... seems to have failed. And if the marriages/relationships are failures, i just wonder why should i get into one and go through all the suffering and heart ache.
Sighz... I hate being left alone in singapore to man the fort. I prefer letting others do the planning, i just do my own stuff. Hmmf. =(
August 03 The Pre-Birthday WeekendFor some reason, i kinda expected more from my birthday this year. I think in a way, everyone has no idea on what they should get for me as i seem to be able to afford everything that i wanted. Even mummy dearest had a problem trying to think of what to get me.
So in the end, i got loads of token sum red packets. But i think i'm happier this way coz at least i dun get any junk stuff that only serves to add on to the house clutter. I'm really looking forward to my cousin coming back from Milan though, coz he's gonna have my new LV bag!!! Hehehe... Its my birthday treat for myself. But all in all, birthdays are always a time to get together with the family. And that, really, is all that matters. But i think this year, i wont be celebrating my birthday with 3 most important people in my life, namely my Mum (she's gonna be catching up with old old friends), my Sis (she's gonna be out at the airport "studying"), and Mr Busy (he's doing a roadshow in Jurong). But oh well. So, Mr Busy, i'm waiting for you to have a nice dinner with me okie? =)
I should have blogged yesterday evening before i slept instead. I had a lot of things to say, about this particular person i sort of dated in the last 2 weeks. But i guess all the emotions and literary inspirations got lost with the ZZZzzz... Hahaha!
I miss my friends, so i am really looking forward to the dinner gathering tonight. Donnie, Cham, Qian and SY!
Smuggy, you owe me a birthday kiss! You promised me back in Hawaii! Sighz........ I miss Hawaii!!!!!! You couldnt have been any cuter!
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